Monday, March 29, 2010

The Ski Mask Paradox


They should fix ski masks so that crooks can't use them anymore. If ski masks didn’t conceal a person’s identity, then they wouldn’t be used by the crooks so much. But if they didn’t cover a person’s entire face, then people would get cold faces while skiing. And since they cover a person’s face, they conceal their identity. Thus, they are often used by crooks who don’t want people to know who they are. Do you see the problem here? So much for easy fixes in this world!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Lame Duck


Let's talk about lame ducks. I think that a crippled duck would be offended that humans throw around his condition so lightly. And besides that, the term doesn't really make sense. A human lame duck is someone who will be out of power in the near future. A literal lame duck is currently powerless to walk. Who knows, he may even heal up in the future, making him the opposite of a human lame duck. Of course, if the lame duck metaphor is using the word "lame" to mean something that sucks, then I wouldn't feel guilty about the metaphor anymore, since ducks who suck deserve none of my pity. Just like people who suck.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

About Me - Penny Smashing Commentary


I like to stand in front of those souvenir penny smashing machines and tell people who walk up, "You know, there are machines that can smash people too."