Saturday, January 28, 2006

Sesquicentennial

Just noticed on the Auburn homepage that Auburn University is celebrating its Sesquicentennial. I didn't know those existed. People are always looking for something to celebrate I guess.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Hand-Headed Shea Freaks

Now here's an idea: I think that I will make everyone in my family stop using their hands to pick things up. Instead, we will attempt to use our foreheads. From here on out, from generation to generation, the Shea's will try in vain to pick up things with their foreheads. After a few thousand years, I believe that an arm will evolve out of my descendants' foreheads as an adaptive measure (I know some experts will claim it should take millions of years, but we Sheas are fast evolvers). And I don't even think I need to explain here how cool it would be to have some sort of extremity on your forehead.

I think that after I die I will have my children freeze my head, so that I will be able to witness my forehead-armed offspring once my head is thawed and revived using future thawing-and-reviving techniques. I mean, it's my idea, so it's only fair that I get to see some Hand-Headed Shea Freaks (that's what people will call them, but it will be a term of endearment and a source of great pride)

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Your Way, Right Away

What's the deal with those fast food commercials talking about how you can have a burger or sub made "just the way you want it"? I have never gone to a place and said,"Hey buddy. No lettuce, please," and been met with "Didn't you see the sign? You can't have it your way here. Only my way. And my way includes lettuce. Now shut up or my way will also include triple the mayonnaise and a healthy dose of my pit hair." Now that I think about it, that's really a pretty reasonable reaction though. I think a food chain should start going with that policy. It would actually boost business. You may not get the meal you like, but darnit, that chain's got balls and I'm gonna eat there.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Debit or Credit?

Why do I always have to think about it when the cashier says "Debit or Credit?"? You would think I would have a set answer by now. But every time, there is a good two or three second pause where I think "Do I want to use credit or debit? I can do either. This is such a big decision."

And for those who want to know, generally I choose debit. But sometimes, for reasons still not fully understood, I switch to credit. Just keeping them on their toes I guess.